Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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