I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
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