Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
