Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
organizing the empties. That sober.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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