after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
