Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
