Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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