oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
