he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
