hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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