Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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