That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
