I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
