so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
