if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
