I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
