Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
