i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
