Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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