Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
