We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
