Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
