Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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