After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
pop tarts are not kleenex
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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