Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
