you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
There r osticjed everywhere
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Randomize
