that's an acceptable place to lick
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
