I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
