haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I checked into jail on foursquare
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
