if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Randomize
