If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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