shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
