i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Every concussion has its silver lining
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
