oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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