My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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