ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
