just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She needs sedatives and a leash
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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