I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
