Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
