the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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