i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
