I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
