Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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