dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
