oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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