I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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