That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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