I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He? As in you personified your dick?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
that may or may not have been my penis.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
