I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
