are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
